D'oh!
by BelovedOne
Summary: Sam has something to tell Jack, but first, they'll battle it out over a game of Scrabble...


Disclaimer: I don't own _Scrabble_ or _Stargate SG-1_. I just like to play with both. I'll put 'em back the way I found 'em! Promise!

**D'OH!**

"Jack, that is _not_ a real word!"

"Is, too!"

"Is _not!_"

"Yes, it is! If Homer says it, then it's real!"

Samantha Carter tried to remove the small squares from the board, and Jack O'Neill slapped her hands away. "No touching!"

"But it's not a real word," she insisted.

"Yes, it is, _Major_. And I'd appreciate it if you'd stop trying to take my pieces off the board."

"Ja-ack, that's not fair! I wasn't allowed to use Schrödinger earlier!"

"That's because it's a name!"

"And quoting a cartoon character is better?"

"Hey!" he said sharply, "Homer is not just _any_ cartoon character; he is _the_ cartoon character."

"Oh, I give up!" Glaring at him, she selected five of the letter blocks from her collection and laid them down, covering the O-R at the end of her earlier word, _harbor_, with I-N, and following it with G-E-R, spelling _harbinger_. "There!" She scribbled down her points on the note pad they'd laid out beside the board.

"Don't forget to put my score down from earlier! Triple Word Score, remember!" She rolled her eyes, sighed, and marked his points on the pad. He peered down at her new word. "Now what the hell does _that_ mean? That's not a _real_ word!"

"Actually, Jack, it _is_."

"Is not."

"Is, too."

"Not."

"Too."

"Uh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Uh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Uh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"No, it isn't!"

"Yes, it IS! It means forerunner, portent, indication, omen, herald…" she listed off the words one by one, and he narrowed his eyes.

"Fine! It's a word! Just stop, already, will ya!"

She smiled smugly, ignoring the dirty look he sent her, and drew five more pieces.

He was quiet for a long moment as he contemplated his letters. Finally, he picked four of them, and his hand hovered over the word _scratch_ for an instant before he covered the last three letters, T-C-H, with his B-B-L, before adding an E on at the end, to form the word _Scrabble_.

"You can't do that!" she cried immediately.

"Why not?"

"Because it's the name of the game! You can't use proper nouns!"

"Can, too!"

"No, you can't!"

"Yes I _can!_"

"No, you _can't!_"

He stuck out his tongue at her, making no move to retrieve his pieces.

She exhaled loudly, exasperated with him.

Suddenly, she grinned mischievously, causing his smug expression to falter a little. Whenever she got _that_ look on her face, he knew trouble was coming.

She plucked several letters from her holder, lining them up on the board, using the "B" in his "Scrabble" to start her word. He peered down at them as she reached for more tiles to replace the ones she'd used.

"Baby?" He stared in disbelief. "You are a certifiable _genius_, and all you can come up with is _baby_?"

"Yup."

He grumbled, and looked up in time to find her peeking under the tiles that still remained in the box, obviously trying to find a specific letter.

"Hey! No fair! You can't do that!"

"Oh, yeah? Just you try and stop me."

His eyes narrowed. "Why, Samantha, I do believe that's a challenge."

"Yeahsureyabetcha," she said in a sing-song voice.

"Oh, _now_ you've gone too far. Cheating _and_ mocking me? I think that deserves—" He never finished; instead, he dove at her, his knee hitting the board and sending the pieces flying in all directions. He tackled her, pinning her to the ground, and bent his head until their lips were almost touching. He stopped just short, making her growl unhappily at him. He grinned. "Payback's a _bitch_, ain't it?" Suddenly, the fingers of one hand began to dance across her ticklish sides, making her shriek with laughter. The gold band on his left ring finger glinted in the light. After several minutes, she was gasping for air, and he decided to let off a little. He'd barely removed his hand when he felt himself being rolled. He ended up on his back, with her perched atop him, looking quite pleased with herself. He found his gaze caught by the glittering diamond that sparkled from its place on her left hand. Memories of her, dressed from head to toe in white and walking toward him, flooded his mind, distracting him as she reached out, hunting for and scooping up several letter tiles and placing them carefully on the game board. She turned back to look at him, smiling secretively.

"Oh, Jaa-aack," she said softly, making circles on his chest with the tip of her finger. "Lookie what I did!"

He levered himself up on his elbows, squinting at the board. After a moment, his eyes widened.

She'd spelled out the word "pregnant."

He looked up at her, awed. "Are you…?"

She nodded.

"I'm gonna be a Daddy!" he cried.

"Yup." She guided one of his hands up to rest on her stomach. "And I'm gonna be a Mommy."

Tears of joy filled his eyes as he sat up and threw his arms around her.

Suddenly, he pulled away. "I'm gonna be a _Daddy_!" he repeated.

"And Jack?"

"Hm?"

"It's twins."

He was grinning like a fool now.

"D'oh!"

**FIN**


End file.
